Ready to get your anger under control? Start by
considering these 10 anger management tips.

1. Think before you speak

In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say
something you’ll later regret. Take a few moments
to collect your thoughts before saying anything —
and allow others involved in the situation to do the

2. Once you’re calm, express your anger

As soon as you’re thinking clearly, express your
frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational
way. State your concerns and needs clearly and
directly, without hurting others or trying to control

3. Get some exercise

Physical activity can help reduce stress that can
cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger
escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend
some time doing other enjoyable physical

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4. Take a timeout

Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short
breaks during times of the day that tend to be
stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help
you feel better prepared to handle what’s ahead
without getting irritated or angry.

5. Identify possible solutions

Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work
on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child’s
messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is
your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule
meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on
your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that
anger won’t fix anything and might only make it

6. Stick with ‘I’ statements

To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which
might only increase tension — use “I” statements
to describe the problem. Be respectful and
specific. For example, say, “I’m upset that you left
the table without offering to help with the dishes”
instead of “You never do any housework.”

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7. Don’t hold a grudge

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger
and other negative feelings to crowd out positive
feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by
your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if
you can forgive someone who angered you, you
might both learn from the situation and strengthen
your relationship.

8. Use humor to release tension

Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor
to help you face what’s making you angry and,
possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for
how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it
can hurt feelings and make things worse.

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9. Practice relaxation skills

When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to
work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a
relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or
phrase, such as “Take it easy.” You might also
listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga
poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

10. Know when to seek help

Learning to control anger is a challenge for
everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if
your anger seems out of control, causes you to do
things you regret or hurts those around you.


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