Rejection, everyone’s had to deal with it. Rejection after job applications, in love, in friendship. A child who doesn’t get what he wants from his mother can also feel rejected. So it lurks in the smallest corners, while the rejection can feel very large. Another child who doesn’t get the same from his mother may not feel rejected at all. What is rejection anyway? And what does it have to do with grief?
To help you cope with a rejection, here are 5 tips that can help you be happy with yourself, with the other person and lead a more balanced life:
1. Release control
Rejection is un preventable. By which I mean that life is full of events that are different as we would have liked them to be. We often think we know what we need, and if we don’t, we lose control. Rejection is the feeling of not being loved and appreciated as you think you need it. Let go of control and accept that you can’t control everything. As John Lennon said: “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans”.
2. See the good in the rejection
Rejection literally means that there is rejection. It is therefore pointed in a different direction. A direction that’s not the direction you wanted. Actually, it’s a very clear message from the universe that it wasn’t your path. As soon as you can see it that way, you also see that every rejection brings you closer to what really suits you.
3. Become aware of your self-image
The fact that you are rejected cannot affect you, it is the choice of the other. You do have a choice in the way you deal with rejection. What matters is how you see yourself instead of how others see you. How you think and feel about yourself says a lot about the way you experience and evaluate a rejection. There are many ways to create a finer self-image. Here are a few tips:
• Focus on your positive qualities and value them.
• Stop comparing yourself to other people.
• Do things that you’re proud of and that energize you.
4. Look at what you reject yourself
You can only feel rejected if you do it yourself. Feeling rejected has to do with not wanting the other person to reject you. This is a natural reaction, caused by our ego liing to be liked. Unfortunately, it is not a method that is useful for your well-being and your energy. Accept that the other rejects you and turn your feelings of frustration and anger into respect for the choice the other has made.
5. Accept the mourning
In its purest form, dealing with rejection is a grieving process. Once you accept that the other one rejects you, the mourning remains. A child who can’t get what he wants from his mother is likely to be through his “grieving process” after a cry. But in the case of a rejection of a loved one, there is indeed a grieving process. Being aware of your grieving process helps you understand and accept what you feel and what happens to you. You say goodbye to something (an idea, a job, etc.) or someone you were attached to. You’re going to organize your life without the person or the person in your life. Find your balance between mourning and insight, between past and future and enjoy your pure self!